I decided to take a solo trip to Malaysia on a whim in 2017. It was spontaneous decision. There I came across a bag packers association. As I walked in, I saw a guy playing guitar on the couch. His playing disturbed me the whole time while I was completing the check in formalities. Suddenly he stops playing guitar and tells me ‘you can keep your bag down, settle down and then do the booking, we are not thief’ that’s how I met my husband Fitri.
Later we spoke and he offered me to show the night market in Melaka. We spent rest of the night exploring different types of street food. I kept talking and he kept listening. Suddenly he asked me out on a date. And I was like yes, why not? We had the most romantic dinner on banks of Melaka River. It was a beautiful night. We shared travel stories. He showed interest and appreciation for other places and cultures. That drew me to him right away. The connection was instant and we continued a long distance relationship. It was an expensive affair because every time one had to fly to meet the other. So he planned to move India permanently.
In our restaurant
Since he is a chef and I am from fashion industry we commonly decided to open a Malaysian restaurant in Bangalore. Initially we started this small food venture from home and took peoples feedback. We had multiple failures but we had strong will power to grow.
Since Fitri is a Muslim and I am a Bengali we had our own ups and downs. Many objections because of different culture but once my parents met him, they just loved him. There was no reason to say no. finally we got married in a traditional Bengali ceremony followed by a Malaysian wedding in 2018.
Malaysian wedding ceremony
I have learnt cooking from him right from chopping to all culinary skills. He loves ilish maach, paani puri and chaat. He doesn’t love sweets though but he is married to a Bengali now. Together we celebrate Diwali, Durga Puja, Ramzan. We enjoy each other’s culture and respect it. I believe everything happens for a reason. Now we travel as a couple making new memories together.
I am a retired officer from BMC and a true Mumbaikar. The transition from being employed to unemployed was difficult at first. Initially there was a feeling of freedom followed by anxiety and boredom. I was not enjoying my retirement as I thought I would, so my son called me to US to spend some time with him. We travelled together to many other countries for vacation. During our trip to Europe I realized Idli Dosa sambhar had become international. Being a Maharashtrian I asked my son why is Misal Pav not global? To which he replied we can make it happen, let’s give it a try.
At first I thought my son was just kidding but as we returned back to India he delved to know more about the authentic dish, yes he was pretty serious about it. Having travelled different cities across Maharashtra we decided to infuse different ingredients and recipes into our venture. We did eventually start from home but every time we would go out, we observed the demand there was in the market for authentic misal. This gave us hope and confidence to start our own venture. It was daunting, as we had no experience in food and hospitality.
The launch of the first outlet was overwhelming and the response thereafter led to more outlets, 13 in all, across Mumbai.
It’s always said behind every successful man there is a woman, but in my case it’s a man behind mine, my son. I completely invested myself into the art of different recipes that would cater to all age groups. I start my day at 4 am and cook more than 800 plates of Misal for our different outlets. I have people who help me with chopping and other kitchen chores. But the secret masala is been put by me. My friends and family has always been supportive they keep saying, ‘Ghar baithney ki umar mein, tum business kar rahi ho’ and I tell them I am living my dream.
My son has been my greatest influencer when it comes to doing business and he has supported me completely. I started my venture at 67 so I feel it’s never too late to begin again dream again and my dream is to make Maharshtrian Missal Pav world famous!!
All my life I have been like ‘haanji papaji, theek hai papaji’ and as a daughter I always wanted my father to be proud of me and in that quest I was losing my identity. Being from a typical Punjabi family married to a Parsi I wasn’t allowed to dance or take up dancing as profession. Even listening music was not tolerable in my house. During my school cultural activities I wasn’t allowed to perform. Literally my parents used to say ‘dancing mein kya rakha hai, issey career nahi banta’ so I never really tried to attempt it.
There was difference of opinion in culture in my marriage, I was dipped down to a point where I thought ‘Ab kuch nahi hosakta,’ but at the end of this suffering was a door I reminded myself ‘bloody hell, I was a topper in my school, college, done my masters, best at my job. How can I fall to a level where I am so vulnerable’? I started to retaliate to things which were not making sense.
I have been through my struggle of being married to a different community, left my job after giving birth to my daughter. It wasn’t my weight which was weighing me down, it was my mental weight. I enrolled myself with Terrence Lewis and Ashley Lobo and got my basics done. Then I got into Dance Movement Therapy. Everyone around me was like you are in a corporate background ‘kya karogi dancing mein’ butI wanted to break the patterns. My body was very stiff. If you look at my past pictures I used to look like a boy but due to fitness and dancing I saw my body getting transformed. The change happened and this alteration was not just physical it was mental. I have abs, muscles but DMT has given me softness. I never thought I had this potential.
Now I take fitness sessions at my studio. I also worked as a counselor at Ahura foundation and Masina hospital Psychiatric Department for Autistic and Down syndrome patients. I have seen a shift happening after their emotional release.
The unstoppable Garima Bharucha
It was a struggle but when everyone around see how far I have come, they have changed their perception. So never give up. No matter what you’re going through there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. It may seem hard but you can do it. I am a living example where I thought I had no choice but now I am showing people a new path. I found myself and now I am in love with myself- ‘Mein apni favourite hoon.’
None of us in our family was pet friendly and we never planned to get a pet but it all began when my brother Ankit surprised us with Aurous. He was just born furry pup. It was love at first sight for me. Once I held him I had tears in my eyes. It was an emotional moment. I knew he would be mine and my very own responsibility.
Life as a ‘dog person’ was a whole new world. I got his food, toys and took him to the vet for his shots. I had to teach him to poop on the papers or outside. He wakes me up early by barking at the foot of my bed unless I remove my blanket he snuggles and licks my face saying ‘get up ..get up..lets go out.’ Aurous loves morning walks which is a great way to make sure that I go for walks too. I connected with people differently as if I had new eyes and a new way of seeing the world. I cannot imagine my life without Aurous because when he came in my life I was not in a good state, my brother had left for US for his higher studies. Initially I used to miss him, I didn’t feel like meeting friends or even studying but because of Aurous in my life I got this sense of responsibility. We have our lunch together, Me Mumma Papa and Auri on the same table but for dinners he makes me run behind him for feeding him. He loves playing while having his food.
Aurous loves to be in style
Kids adore him and no matter what any child does to him he is always very gentle. I talk to Aurous, he can keep a secret like no other, we cuddle and watch TV and he follows me around most of the day so how can I ever get lonely?
Aurous receives many hugs but when he is not getting enough attention; he puts his paw on my lap and reminds me that it’s been 10 minutes since his last head rub. Although Aurous is a city boy but he loves nature, long drives and I like dressing him up and also taking him to his grooming appointments. Our dapper little dog has his own wardrobe with collection of tuxedos, kurtas, t-shirs, and jumpsuit. We keep updating his wardrobe and dress him up as per occasions like kurta on festivals, tuxedo for parties.. He is always excited and loves being stylish!
Aurous in kurta with Asmi during Ganpati festival
Every year on his birthday we throw a ‘paw-ty’ and make sure he feels special as it’s all about celebrating the connection we have.
Aurous celebrating his first birthday
I can tell you that he completes our family. We all love him soo much, he is part of our family and trust me my dog sibling is my parents favourite. I firmly believe having him makes me happier, healthier and generally a nicer person.
On our walks I started noticing stray dogs in our area (gokuldham). They didn’t have anyone, so I felt the need to take care of them. Every day I pack food and water for these homeless dogs and feed nearly 30 dogs in nearby area. But it hasn’t been easy as many times people scream at me while I am feeding stray dogs and shoooo them away.
I would like to request people that feeding Parle-g to feral dogs is generous but it’s not healthy. It has too much sugar which causes a lot of skin issues, liver problems so avoid feeding them to dogs. Instead feed them #pedigree which is low cost or just give them ‘Dahi chawal,’ they love it and they eat it.
Are there stories about your pets that you remember? If you feel that you and your pets are a real family, Storymakers request you to share your paw-story in the comment section to get your story featured with us.
The first time I suspected something wrong was on the day of Karwachauth last year. You know, there are some dates which will always stay with you and this is one of those. I was tired and could feel the pain in my breast. I knew something wasn’t right. This was not normal to me. The next day I took a Mirror test (self-test). I felt a lump on my right breast. My husband and I immediately rushed to our gynecologist. We didn’t know this was the beginning of a long and painful journey which was followed by various tests. Unfortunately, biopsy report was not in my favor and I was diagnosed with Stage II breast cancer. To add this was TNBC (Triple Negative) which spreads aggressively.
My first reaction was complete terror. I thought I was going to die, followed by loads of self-pity. I was not prepared for the shock of my life. My heart raced, and the tears streamed down my face. My husband held me close to him as tears streamed down his face, too. Later that day, we told our families.
It was difficult for me to break this news to my 12 year old son. When I told him, I have breast cancer, he was shocked. Grabbed and hugged me and kept crying. Both of us couldn’t stop weeping. He kept saying, “Mumma, apko kuch hoga toh nahi na.” that was the moment I realized I need to fight and wipe out cancer from our lives. Crying does not cure cancer.
chanchal with her husband during chemotherapy
I’ve had 6 rounds of chemo, one surgery and 21 radiation treatments. TNBC is most aggressive type and when doctor saw the reports, he was happy and surprised to see that we took timely action. As per the doctor, if the diagnosis was delayed by 3-4 months it would have reached probably Stage III and could reach up to bones.
It was a heavy dose of reality when I discovered how scary painful emotional and tough the journey would be during active treatment. I was not entirely prepared for the side effects of Chemotherapy. Apart from losing hair from my head, I lost my eyelashes, eyebrows, arm hair, leg hair and lost hair on my other body parts. I felt unattractive but my husband gave me unconditional love and made me feel beautiful inside out. True beauty lies in who you are, not what you look like. My coworkers at my salon knew about my diagnosis. I have been always open about it. They kept motivating me constantly. Friends and family came together to help in any way they could.
Over the time I diverted my mind with my salon work. I also listened to a lot of music to ease the stress. “Remember, take one day at a time, live the moment and never give up.
Here I want to mention explicitly that all oncologists asked me, if I had consumed contraceptive pills for a long time and my answer was…. ‘Yes’ for continuous 6 months ( I had severe acne 2 years back on my jaw line and dermatologist prescribed me pills that helped me to cure my acne completely). This may be one of the reasons.
Also before starting my chemotherapy, doctor suggested 3 things:
And we have been following this routine past one year.
The most important thing I have learned on my breast cancer journey is keeping ‘Right Attitude.’
Now I am cancer free. Back to normal life, thanking god.
A small request, Cancer doesn’t discriminate. It can affect anyone at any age, of any culture, of any education level and economic status. We all need to be proactive about our health. It’s so important to arm ourselves with knowledge, keep doing mirror test at home every month, eliminate unhealthy habits from our lives, and listen to our bodies.
Satyavan Gite’s supercool and fancy modified Auto rickshaw has become talk of the town in no time. His auto has everything right from fan, water, television screen, first aid box, dustbin, washbasin, plants even wi-fi and mobile charger too, yes its true!
Gite has transformed his auto rickshaw into an extremely comfortable ride for passengers and names it Mumbai’s first ‘Home System Auto rickshaw’
While speaking to Storymakers the autorickshaw driver switched on the fan and proudly says “you can charge your phone in my auto and also can enjoy music on a Bluetooth speaker or watch something on television screen using your mobile.”
He also makes sure not to charge senior citizens for rides up to one kilometer. A list on board grabbed our attention which mentions that newly married couple can ride the auto rickshaw for free. There is also a Covid-19 helpline number printed behind the auto rickshw and a thank you message to all Covid frontline workers. Isn’t this the most involved manner to deal with the pandemic?
The images of this reformed vehicle took the internet’s attention including Twinkle Khanna, Akshay Kumar, Anand Mahindra and has made the driver famous overnight. When we asked Satyavan about the photograph with Amitabh Bachchan in his auto, he replied “I admire him a lot, so I used to ride around the great actors bunglow ‘Jalsa’ and requested the watchman to let me meet him. When I got a call from his team saying Amitabh Bachchan would like to meet you, I couldn’t sleep with excitement waiting for the next day. Amitabh Bachchanji sat in my auto and said “Addbhut hai”. I would remember his words my lifetime.
I drive the Auto mostly in the evenings and most of my customers call me at their doorstep. The reason I decked up my vehicle is because I wanted to provide better services to passengers, he said to Storymakers.
There are many appealing titles on panels of the vehicle such as — ‘Mumbai’s first home system autorickshaw’, ‘The complete family entertainment’ and ‘Mumbai’s favourite autorickshaw’. Interestingly Satyavan is flooded with inquiries to blend out more luxury in his vehicle –
“good job!!! only thing leftover is air purifier then damn! I will use your service daily 😁”
— Utkarsh gupta उत्कर्षఉత్కర్ష్🌏 🕉️ (@utkarshkg)
Satyam Gite, has gone a step further to attract his regular customers by doing modern jugaad in his Autorickshaw and Storymakers is highly impressed by the innovation and the facilities being offered by him.
I had to adapt to a technology that I wasn’t familiar with overnight, most of the teachers like me didn’t get enough time to prepare and we were pushed to reinvent everything we knew about our jobs. Due to Covid the never seen before crisis, kids and parents are adapting to new virtual education as schools remain shut. Literally the whole education system is just one click away. So the learning was immense and it had to be done Asap to survive the digital world!
At 8.55 am I am ready with my laptop, study material, paper star and smiley cutouts for my students, double-check the connectivity, linkwork and ready for my online teaching sessions. I am a teacher to primary section. My students use Code Tantra and Zoom applications to access their lessons and activities. I brainstorm different ideas and plans for my online classes to keep my students engaging. Most of the kids are joined by their moms who are homemakers who leave their chores and sit with them. But since most have working parents it’s an uphill struggle. Besides the school vice principal often shows up to monitor the class, if a child is not attentive, she stops the class to correct him.
Parent’s response has been extreme, while some feel they should hang around the child during classes, others have become too demanding of teachers. Like currently due to heavy rains in Hyderabad the classes have been cancelled but parents expect us to take extra classes.
Half way through, I keep urging children to mute their microphone and wait for their turn to speak. Sometimes the kids are scribbling on the screen while the other time they keep playing with their headphones. There was an incident when a kid fell asleep during the class so I had to call his mother to know the concerns. If a child is not attentive or if the camera is off most of the time we contact parents to know the matter as to why the child was not attentive? To keep little ones concentrated on their computer screens is big task by itself. Each day is a new kind of day where I have to figure out how to deliver information to students in a way so they not only are present but participate actively.
I would like to share some do’s and don’ts every parent and child need to follow:
Sit upright in a formal set up.
Keep the camera at a little distance
Do not eat during the class
If possible wear headphones to avoid surrounding disturbance and distraction.
A child should answer when it’s his turn.
There should be good ventilation in room.
Kids should be encouraged to blink eyes frequently as siting for long hours in front of screen can cause eyes to dry up quickly.
Students are holding so much inside them they want us to talk and know about their daily errand. Due to time constraint we have no choice but to straight away dive into the teaching which kids find hard to adjust. As a teacher we have to submit list of students we have made calls to, besides this we need to share snapshots of our daily assignments which are literally displaying bedsheets in the background by a rookie photographer.
Early morning to late night I get pretty interesting messages. Believe me, there are 6 am good morning messages, please check my homework messages, thank you, smileys, miss u and many more until I leave my food preparation and just sign the homework. I do miss the laughter and interaction, the hubbub of school life, their random questions. I miss them more than anything but I am happy they are safe and healthy.
I have learnt a lot from these ups and downs in these unusual times. The only challenge is that I am unable to see reactions of my student. With passing time students are aware how to nod on camera, how to mute unmute, they have learned to raise their hands virtually when asked a question. Also I have mastered techniques of sharing screen, writing on virtual white boards. I feel empowered and organized. I think the crisis has made both students and teachers stronger. We have become close and it feels a team effort.
Mary Anthony has always been an avid reader and movie buff. she has read at every stage of her life and started reading on her own at age 6, and had a book in her hand ever since. So it was but natural that she would step someday into making both of these passions come alive. Being graduated in Economics from Fergusson College, Pune she then went on to do MBA from IGNOU. All this while she was working in a corporate environment, but soon realized that she wasn’t made for the rat race.
Mary left the corporate sector and started her own blog ‘Beautilicious Freaks’, she learned to write and manage a fashion blog from scratch, worked with many brands through influencer programmes. She rebranded the account ‘Razzi Styl’ – ‘when pandemic hit and noticed that it looks selfish to sell glamorous products while half the world is losing out on jobs. So I shut down my fashion blog and stepped into the author domain’-shares Mary with Storymakers.
Soon Mary Anthony started Myriadword Publication with the aim of showcasing upcoming authors from all around the world. “I do free author interviews and book reviews; it was my struggles as an upcoming author that prompted me to start this platform. I recently released two short story eBooks on Kindle. My novella’s will release by the end of the year, it is amazing how I get to connect with a whole bunch of intellectuals via my book blog and get to discuss ideas, and positive stories. It inspires me to become a better author.”
About filmmaking, Mary started Morart Films with zero budget and lots of film ideas in her head. She forayed into script writing and directing with her debut short film Makeup released on Youtube last year. It deals with the issues of marital abuse. The shortfilm has been featured in India’s number one short films channel Six Sigma Films. Makeup recently got screened for Lift-Off Global Network, First Time Film Makers Session 2019, Pinewoods Studio UK. It is also a semi-finalist for Lisbon Film Rendevouz 2019. January 25th Makeup – short film won Runner-up at the Orange Flower Film Festival, Mumbai. and the best part is she actually directed this short film via Skype!
I have no formal training for being a film-maker, but this did not stop me. I had to do it and the little voice inside me always says “That’s it, This is why you are here – Do it” says Mary
Her second short film Minutes – To Live and Die has been shot on a mobile completely during the lockdown period. The film depicts the struggles of being a bi-polar during quarantine. It has already been chosen as official selection for Lift-Off Global Network sessions 2020, Lift-Off Global Network First Time Filmmaker Sessions 2020 and semi-finalist for Lisbon Rendevouz Film Festival.
The Author Director will soon be starting a second interview and podcast series ‘Director Talks’ which will showcase film talents from all over the world. “I feel we all have a story to be told and there are amazing talents that need to be brought to light, hence this free platform through my social media channels.”
I will never say I’m fully accomplished because I believe we all learn something new every day, we find inspiration from each other. There is no such thing as perfection, when I started out as a film-maker many said I don’t hold a film making degree or attended a film school. You don’t need a degree to master any skill; I simply observe films, the background, the story, the idea with which it is made. Pay attention to the details you can learn a lot by just being a keen observer. Secondly I would suggest read and read a lot, there are plenty of free books available on every topic. Thirdly network, be humble while you meet new people, and respect every talent.
If you don’t see the book you want on the shelf, write it ___ Beverly Cleary
Being an advocate for mental health Mary has partnered with a UK based organization ‘The Creative Mental Health Guide’, They run the ‘Good Mental Health’ festival for the months September and October. which icludes poetry slams, discussions and organizing movie night around mental health awareness. They are also launching a mental health magazine that will showcase articles, poems, art and topics on positive mental health development. Feel free to join their festival and contribute your talent for the magazine. We as a society need to build a dialogue towards a positive mental health!
My husband and I are happily married almost 14 years now and I would want to share our journey of coming to this decision of not having children! Yes you read that right, we decided to be childfree for life!!
I met my husband Dipu through a common friend. Dated for few years and got hitched. We discussed kids but barely, it wasn’t the most important thing for either of us, it was just a discussion. So how did we decide we aren’t going to be parents? Four years into our marriage and out of concern my parents said to me “You and Dipu need to decide if you’re having kids. You are not getting any younger.” We had put all types of stereotype arguments on rest as we weren’t sure. A few weeks later we started questioning ourselves, why do we need to have kids? What’s the purpose of having one? Why is it a necessity? The stigmas of not having a child – the answers were clear and loud, you cannot be dependent on a third life which has not come to life, decide your happiness. It’s a conditioned thing in mind. “sab kartey hai, toh mujhe bhi karna hai, we do it to repair our relationship with our spouse or we do it because everyone is doing it” attributing strings, notions and believing “A child makes a women complete.” Well, the idea of completeness is dangerous and I doubt there is any such thing in a life.
I believe if you are not content, you cannot nurture another life. It really didn’t make any sense except that it’s your own flesh and blood and the sense of belonging. But is that all? Does that feeling give us the certificate of knowing what this new life really needs? So we decided to choose openness over some false idea of completeness. It was not an easy decision but we were both on the same page that we were going to go down an unconventional path.
We also considered option for adoption but for that one needs to have that hunger or desire and we don’t feel the heart strings that we are called to that. “For years when people asked me do I have any medical conditions? I failed to explain them that it was about my choice and not an excuse, I just didn’t want children.” Most of the time we are not criticized for our choice because it is terrible but simply because it is different. Frequently asked question like who is going to take care of us when we are old (Buddhape ki latthi) or Khandaan aage kaise badhega? But do we really give birth for these unkind motives?
Those are hardly right reasons to have kids; they are not guarantee to a lifespan of happiness. It’s a mistake to assume having children means one will have a person to take care of them in their old age. Research shows not every adult child cares for their aging parents. People are fearful about their own death. To overpower that fear they seek to leave legacy- habitually in the form of children. But there are other types of legacies such as science, art and religion.
Arriving to a decision to not have children was not an easy one, when society always tells you should. Although most people desire to have children, there’s often a confusion why someone wouldn’t. But if you ask millennials their wish list and has changed. My mother never had this wish to travel the world as her exposure was limited, it never allowed her to pursue her dreams or desire to be financially independent giving equal shares of EMI for her house. I believe I would personally find it challenging to balance being a Supermom with a Supercareer. We just enjoy the life style we have and wanted to keep going this way.
People say we are missing out on something, that’s absolutely true but aren’t parents missing out on some phases of life childfree people enjoy. It’s impossible to have every experience in life. I am thankful that we are surrounded by people who understand that it’s a choice and respect the decision couples make without any judgement. ‘Be sure of your wary decisions and the Consequences you have to bear with it. Be it anything’
There is something very pure about motherhood and experiencing it in a lifetime is a blessing but I feel todays’ parenting is a bit confused with increasing challenges and overload of information influencing the balance between getting the best out of children without making them nervous. We do not know what to expect!
There are lots of mothers who handle their careers and motherhood well but I don’t see myself in those superwomen shoes. It’s not like I don’t like kids, it’s just that I don’t feel the need of planet having more because that’s one big thing we could do to cut our carbon footprint. ‘Not having children is an important contribution to humanity and my decision has reduced the population of 2050 by 3 to 5 people.’
It doesn’t really fulfil any kind of greater desire in me. If you don’t desire to have kids, don’t. If you do, do it right! We are already too many and suffering too much, why add more chaos to the mean and unfair human race. Why make one more of us go through the same cycle? The one who does not exist will never find the good and ugly part of this life anyway!
I hope this column assures you that you are not alone with going down to the path of living unconventional. I am an independent person and I don’t think I need children to be happy in life.
The next time if someone asks you why you don’t want children, ask them why they do. You can have an incredibly fulfilled happy life. It’s your life – Be proud of your choice!
Storymakers brings an unconventional love story of Minal Vijay Pendse and Nand Kishor Kumawat who are breaking gender role stereotypes in their daily practices. A crazy love story shared by Minal of how they met, fell in love and are now cherishing it.
How it all started…
I was trying to get out of a long and toxic relationship. I had then made a conscious decision to go on an online dating app. I had looked at a lot of profiles and by the time I had gotten to Nand Kishor’s, I had developed an ability to read between the lines. His profile came across as very genuine, honest and to the point.
The journey to Jaipur…
A day after we matched on the dating app, we started speaking on phone call. The conversation started at 9.15 pm in the night and ended at 4.30 am in the morning. It was quite unusual to come across someone who genuinely seemed to care. We couldn’t stop talking to each other day in and day out for almost a week.
I am from Mumbai and he is from Jaipur and as the days passed by, I got restless, curious and I couldn’t stand anymore to not see him. I made up my mind and purchased a one-way air ticket to Jaipur. I was about to board the flight to Jaipur and he was speechless when I told him that I was on my way to meet him. On reaching Jaipur, when I walked outside the airport and saw him, I felt all this energy that I couldn’t even begin to explain. My instinct was saying ‘Run! Give him a hug, but of course, my brain said go slow & steady. When I reached towards him, he smiled; I couldn’t resist and gave him a hug. I told him to hug again as he couldn’t hug me properly at first since he was nervous and so he did it all over again with a big smile. I thought he is cute! I was so in trouble! The connection was instant. I was drawn to him so deeply that he felt like home to me. The night before I left Jaipur, I felt that our journey had truly begun and that reaching the destination was just a matter of time.
Love conquers all…
He is a non-Brahmin and I am Brahmin by caste so my parents were apprehensive about me getting married to him due to vast caste & cultural differences, however, none of this ever mattered to us as individuals.
What mattered to us then and even now is being on the same page on all the levels including spiritual, mental, emotional and physical.
Geography of love…
As a woman, I feel safe and protected in Mumbai and there is no way that I was going to leave it and I had expressed it clearly to Nand Kishor during our very first conversation. His job and plans for future were rooted in Jaipur and it was a big concern that we had to address but we decided to leave it to fate. What we had was so beautiful and divine that we could not even think of letting it slip away because of the geographical concern.
In the meantime, we kept shuffling between Mumbai and Jaipur. His family and dreams were there and my life was here but slowly he got used to Mumbai and decided to move here, which people found extremely odd.
He started looking out for a job in Mumbai. During an interview, when he mentioned that he moved to Mumbai without a job so that he could be with his wife, the interviewer laughed! But, no matter what he never expected me to compromise because I’m a woman – he didn’t ask me to leave my life in Mumbai and that’s something I am eternally grateful to him for. I feel love knows no boundaries including the geographical ones as well.
Making our own rules…
There was never a moment where we felt uncertain about our relationship. We got married in July 2018, made our own rules to nurture our relationship. I performed the “Grahapravesh” for him when he moved in with me in Mumbai. Usually, “Lakshmi” in the form of a newly-wed woman is welcomed into the household but in our case, I welcomed my own “Narayan” in my life in the form of Nand Kishor.
The most unique part of our relationship is the fact that we practice immense gender neutrality. There are no set rules for who has to do what, when & how. The only guideline that we follow in our relationship, is to have immense understanding, love, support, and compassion for each other. So be it cooking, handling household chores, whether indoors or outdoors, as a couple we both are at it equally without any gender-based apprehensions. Togetherness is eventually what matters to us, no matter who does what.
Embracing individualities…
In our relationship, ownership and healthy boundaries hold the key to our growth. I believe that when we grow as individuals, we certainly grow as a team and in this relationship, we take the onus to be the best version of ourselves while nurturing the other.
We understand the importance of individuality and we pay attention to not step into the space that the other individual seeks. In essence, it is very important to have healthy boundaries in place even in a loving relationship.
Minal Vijay Pendse and NandKishor Kumawat
My relationship with him has introduced me to every emotion on the spectrum. When it comes to love, I am spoilt silly by him shares Minal with Storymakers.
Story Makers 